DECEMBER 14
My son wakes up happy as can be. No rashes, no hives, no signs of anything… In fact, his face looked better than usual…probably the steroids. We even tried to meet Santa for the first time at the mall.
In conversation this evening, my husband just brought up that he had an egg allergy when he was little. The things you learn years and years later. So my husband had eczema, walnut allergy, fillet fish allergy and now egg …. I wonder what else I will soon learn.
Overall, I felt a lot better about it all…especially since he smiles on…
DECEMBER 15
Today, we went to our schools like a typical day. Then, I picked him up and met my husband at the pediatrician’s office. Since our pediatrician was on maternity leave, she saw another one who we loved. She herself had experiences food allergies with her children so she sent us directly to the allergist for testing. Poor little guy did not have much of an afternoon after school.
At the allergist, he does a skin test of the main allergens. (soy, fish, wheat, eggs, dairy, tree nuts, and peanuts) Before the test was given, I had been stressing out about getting home in time for my son’s nighttime routines and bedtime. However, when the allergist stepped out of the room for what seemed like an hour but in reality was less than five minutes, I glanced at my son’s arms. I didn’t know much about allergy testing but I had a horrible feeling that he was going to be allergic to all of them. However, when he came back, I was wrong. According to the skin test, he was allergic to wheat, dairy, eggs, peanuts, and tree nuts.
I am not one who has ever been able to cover my emotions, even if I had tried, there was no holding back my tears. What happens now? I thought about my son’s diet, introducing new foods, breastfeeding, my diet, his first birthday, etc. The thoughts were endlessly overwhelming me. Once again, what had I done to cause this?
As I pump and cry after we put my son to bed, I wrote to my breastfeeding friends on our FB page:
- Had him allergy tested… I’m devastated. He is allergic to sooo much. I feel like I am to blame. I don’t even know where to start with all of this.I can breastfeed – I just need to cut out dairy unless it’s cooked, cut out peanuts and wheat as much as possible. Like I’m sooo worried about my stockpile but I scalded all of it so it’s fine ? I literally need to change sooo much I eat …. I’m going to try … It’s a lot to process. He is allergic to dairy, wheat, eggs, almonds, peanuts and tree nuts. I have eaten a peanut butter and banana sandwich almost every day for lunch since he was born. The cereal and snacks I eat every day have wheat. The allergist told me that my stockpile and bottles I pumped should be fine since he never had a reaction to them. However, I’m still scared but that’s sooooo much breast milk to waste !!! Doctor said he is hopeful he will outgrow all but peanuts and tree nuts. He said 80 percent chance of outgrowing wheat, eggs and dairy. He told me to avoid milk, almond milk, peanut butter from now on and all cheese that isn’t cooked. I’m so scared to eat anything. I’m scared to use stockpile and pumped milk.
I cry, yet he smiles on…
DECEMBER 19, 2014
I am feeling better after a lot of praying and thinking…I post to my Breastfeeding (BF) FB page…
So as I always do, I was reflecting on Saturday night and everything this week. I’ve always believed and found that everything happens for a reason even the shittiest of things ( pardon my language). Therefore, aside from changing my diets, informing and educating daycare, I was trying to figure out what the reason for all of this was. And I think I have my answer or at least the answer I’m choosing to tell myself. I noticed this week that as about 5-6 babies sit around a table together when they eat meals, many of them eat yogurt. While the yogurt was not right in front of them, it was in reaching distance if they tried. These babies are messy and also relentless, determined little guys and girls when they want something. From now, he needs to eat by himself or at least away from yogurt eaters and after the table has been wiped down with Chlorox which makes me sad but for now it’s in his best interest.
We are praying he outgrows many or most of these. However, I feel better knowing that this happened with us and not in daycare if he ever reached and grabbed yogurt. I think Saturday was truly God’s way of keeping him safe in the long term. While I’ve cut out all or most of the allergens out of my diet, I am using my stockpile and considering getting a second opinion about my own diets and breastfeeding since he never had a reaction from me directly. Daycare also kept pushing me to stop breastfeeding so I said something this week that after consulting with pediatrician, allergist and my husband, we are not opposed to formula at all but continuing to breastfeed is the best option for us now. I also told them that I didn’t appreciate them pushing the issue. That evening I received an email from the owner telling me all of the steps they are taking to keep him safe and that they all fully support our decision to continue to breastfeed for now. Anyways that’s my looooong update. Happy Friday!
Now, we both smile on…
DECEMBER, 23, 2014
The weekend was great especially since I was finally letting go of some of my mommy guilt. It was a short week of work, only 1.5 days because of the upcoming holiday. After school on Tuesday, a half day, I went to go pick up my son from school. As I walked in, he was swinging in a swing, rubbing at his face. My stomach dropped to floor as I began to panicking, going to get a closer look. HIVES ALL OVER FACE!
I panicked, started to cry, called my husband, asked a million questions….I was afraid to drive and leave if something happened in the car. My husband called the pediatrician who we had now been dealing with and she said to come in. Therefore, we went right there. My husband met me there too because I was terrified. Why was this happening? Was it my breast milk? After questioning the teachers in the classroom, they had not noticed anything strange. Right before I had gotten there, they had given him a jar of Earth’s Best organic cranberry turkey and apple.
The pediatrician said that she thought we should go directly to the allergist in the practice that she herself used and that we had also been using. While the hives were now gone, we went to the allergist who happened to be working right down the street on this day. He did a skin test of all the grains since our pediatrician said she thought it was the rolled oat in the jar that he had reacted to. However, the skin test came up negative for everything tested (oat, barley, buckwheat, corn, potato, sweet potato) However, the allergist wanted blood testing for all of these plus apple and cranberry. So, we went right there to get blood testing; however, they could not get any blood from his tiny vein. How awful it was to hear him screaming. Once again, mommy guilt was building up and I truly felt like I could explode with frustration and emotion. How could I have caused this pain and suffering to my small innocent son?
We left with no blood; however, an appointment with another guy at a different location who was apparently great with small children. As we walked out of the building that day, I could not even post to my breastfeeding FB page. I had no energy left in me….I felt so depressed and helpless….yet my son just continued to smile all the way home…
DECEMBER 24, 2014
Here is the post that I wrote on December 24, 2014 on my breastfeeding friends…
Post 1:
To start, I apologize for sending this on Christmas Eve. I’m hysterically crying yet again and I don’t know what to do. I originally was told to try to cut as much of his allergens as possible out of diet because of my son’s diet. ( tree nuts, peanuts, dairy, wheat and eggs) However, the allergist and doctor told me that cooked cheese on pizza and pizza once or twice a week was fine. Today, my allergist called me up and instructed that I now should avoid everything strictly. However, he has never had a reaction to me or my frozen supply. This is all because of him having a hive reaction to a jar of solids at daycare. I honestly can barely eat anything I use to … I have an appointment with another allergist on January 13 but I don’t know what to do … I can’t use my stockpile anymore for now, ounces and ounces and ounces of milk … I honestly don’t know what to do. Sorry just venting..
Post 2:
Thanks everyone for letting me vent and for the great suggestions. I went to Whole Foods and got a ton. Now that I’m thinking more rationally it’s not even about my diet, I’ll cut out and do whatever I need to do to ensure his best interests are in mind. My main focus is trying to figure out what will give him the greatest chance of outgrowing as many of these allergies as possible. My allergist is leaning toward formula. I’m so torn. Anyways, let me stop being Scrooge on Christmas Eve…
I cry and drink wine, but he still smiles on…
The Art of a Messy House 